Passive Aggression

Can’t we all just get along?

No more hate.

I was just reading: How to Stop Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace, and came across a familiar phrase: “Can’t We All Get Along?” And an interesting pair of logos (see insets).

It seems to me that we have some people who simply will not communicate directly with those they have issues with (as if this has never been me). It can’t be that hard. Pick up a phone, send an e-mail, write a letter– with today’s technology, we simply have too many channels of communication available to us to avoid those we really should have a cup of coffee with. (Yes, this has been me a time or two– I am not perfect yet.)

No Passive Aggression

Is it a challenge, finding a way to “break the ice?” Find an innocent, open-ended, non-offensive question to ask anyone– mine– “So, is Dallas home?” How could anyone get offended at that?

Especially when we expect some conflict, communication is much easier, if we have high esteem for ourselves and the person we need to communicate with, and simply:

  1. Initiate: Take the first step.
  2. Communicate: Be clear, calm, current and constructive.
  3. Negotiate: 80% of the time, there has simply been a misunderstanding of the other’s intentions.
  4. Consider: Is winning the issue worth a toaster? (Remember the free toaster the bank offered, if you simply open an account? Did you really need that toaster?)

The Dale Carnegie Class on Human Relations teaches that there are at least five subjects for easy conversation, that we are all comfortable discussing, with just about anyone:

Subjects for small talk

Subjects for small talk

  1. Name— the correct pronunciation of their name, it’s derivation, and it’s history.
  2. Home— where they grew up, how long they have lived in town, what their kids or siblings enjoy doing.
  3. Work— general questions about the nature of their professional activities, why they find it so particularly interesting.
  4. Travel— where they went on their last vacation, does their work take them out-of-town, what they think about TSA restrictions, etc.
  5. Sports— perhaps they enjoy golf or tennis, or follow a particular college or professional team. Who doesn’t like to talk about sports?

And of course, there is always the weather.

Can’t we all just get along?


More info:

About jayhack2012

I help you find actionable insight.
This entry was posted in 1-Top Posts, Character Studies, Psychology and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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